the disgruntled world of ________ !

So I am in Honolulu…waiting patiently (approx. 3 1/2 hours) to board. Though, I should explain the events that brought me here. Unfortunately, I had to go through Majuro. It sucked. We had to stay in the plane while they run their “inspection”. This wouldn’t be that bad, except for the fact that my fellow passengers and I had to endure the horrendous smells that penetrated the doors of the lavatories.

The stench reminded me of bean farts and insect repellent. The seat that I had was defective, but the flight was overbooked and I had nowhere else to sit. So for 4 hours I had to experience ass-numbing pain brought by the sharp poking of an exposed metal rod. I wanted to shot myself in the face, just so I wouldn’t have to think about the idea that my ass may never feel good ever again.

Anyways, I bear through the pain.

Flashback to before my “adventure” began (location – Guam International Airport): “You’re only giving me a boarding pass to Honolulu?” I asked. The Chuukese ticket agent looked at me and said, “Sorry ma’am, but it says that you’re on standby in Honolulu.” I start to tense and the anger seems to be making its way through my flaring nostrils. “What do you mean STANDBY? I paid for the fucking ticket in advance…online,” I said as I crumple my boarding pass to Honolulu. The Chuukese man looked confused.

“Whatever…so what am I supposed to do now,” I asked. “Well, ma’am it says you have to go to Delta and check-in.” I’m already annoyed, so I atan baba him and check-in my shit. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I hate the C-T-C’s. My parents and I then proceed to Cap for a family dinner.

Flash forward to the Delta Counter:

I grab my luggage. I go through customs. I re-check my luggage. I get my boarding pass. I wait a while to board my LA flight.

EDIT: (Currently in LAX waiting for my Lolo to pick me up)

The flight was fine. No one sat next to me so I had some breathing room. I thought…okay…things are looking up. I arrive at 6:30 am and grab my luggage. I made plans prior for my cousin to pick me up but he is nowhere to be found. Oh, I forgot to mention…I left my cell phone on Guam, so I have no way of contacting anyone except via dirty ass payphones.

I wait and call my mom, who lectures me about forgetting my cell phone at home. She calls my aunt, who doesn’t pick up, and leaves her 6 messages. She calls my cousin and leaves him messages. Two hours fly by and a homeless man offers me a bite of his sandwich.

I struggle to remember my Lolo’s phone number. I finally remember. I call and now they (my Lolo and Lola) are on their way to pick me up. It’s now 10:00 am. I’m going to kill my cousin. He does not get a bag of Chamorro Chip cookies.

EDIT II:

I’m home now. It is approx. 11 am. I hate my cousin.

Let’s tally the length of my trip:

Guam Airport (2 hours)
Flight to Majuro (4 hours)
Waiting time in Majuro (2 hours)
Flight to Honolulu (4 1/2 hours)
Customs (1/2 hour)
Delta Check-In (1 hour)
Waiting at the Honolulu Airport (3 1/2 hours)
Flight to LA (5 1/2 hours)
Waiting for my Cousin (3 1/2 hours)
Waiting for my Lolo (1 hour)
Ride home (30 minutes)

Total of 28 hours