the disgruntled world of ________ !

Pretty much this was an unfinised blog with a catchy title.

The title explains horrifying moments of my past…seeing things that only appear in nightmares.

For the sake of human decency, I will not post pictures. So, I went to Barstow last year aka “The Armpit of California” and stayed at my friend’s house. She gave me the Barstow Tour, which consisted of checking out the Del Taco, visiting an abandoned nuclear testing site, watching a movie at the Drive-In, and hanging out at Rubys. This is not Ruby’s the burger joint…this is Ruby’s the homeless people dancery.

I’m not trying to be an ass or insensitive to our homeless population, but this place is literally a homeless people dancery. Anyways, I walked in (no cover of course) and took in the sights (homeless woman breastfeeding) and the smells (urine, blood, and cheese). I poked my friend and pointed at the woman on the dance floor. She was grinding and bobbing to 50 Cent’s “In Da Club” and breastfeeding her child. It was amazing…amazingly gross. I wanted to throw a huge ass poncho on her so she could stop exposing her girly parts. I also saw two men snorting crack cocaine. I turned to my friend and said “Unless you want to request the Electric Slide…let’s get out of here. I’m pretty sure I contracted Syphillis and Genital Warts, while standing here.” We left. She later explained that Barstow was also the Meth Capital of California. I looked at her…confused…sighed and said “Wow…Barstow is damn classy!”

Now on to the little boy looking at porn. So, I used to nanny this 11 years old boy. I will not provide his name but it rhymes with Bristian…and has a Ch….nevermind. Anyways, I was downstairs making his dinner…Mac and Cheese and toasted bread. He was upstairs “supposedly” doing his homework. So, I ventured upstairs to give him his food. Unfortunately, I did not knock and caught him… pants down looking at online porn. I dropped the food and yelled as I ran down the stairs “Your food is on the ground!” I quickly ran into the bathroom and vomited. It was the absolute grossest thing I have ever seen. I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Then, I wanted to gouge his eyes out. What a pervert!

After the fiasco, he pretended that nothing happened…he pretended that he wasn’t looking at “TEEN TITS and TACOS”. That rat bastard! So, I was like…hell no…he better recognize his unquestionable perversion. I mean that is just unacceptable, especially when someone else is in the house…and especially since he is only 11. I told him that if he ever did that again…his penis would fall off and he’d die a horrible, penis-less death. Also, I told his mom the horrors that I had seen. She gave me an extra $50 (she needed to cough up more than that…I was emotionally scarred) and took away his computer (she needed to send him to a Chinese military school). As she walked me to my car (since my knees were wobbly and my sight had not yet fully recovered), she told me that she had child-blocked sites like that…and that she cannot understand how he unlocked the site and found her password.

I looked at her and thought, “Seriously?”. An untrained monkey could have unblocked those sites. Her password is her son’s name. I’m sure it took him 5 minutes to unblock everything and read her private emails. He’s 11 yrs. old. He’s a product of technophiles and Geek Squad personnel. I left in disgust and severely disappointed in my $50 hush-hush money.

Anyways, two of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen in my entire life. This is saying a lot since I’ve seen cows being slaughtered and someone’s penis being crushed by a bowling ball.

I never, ever want to see grossness like that again. Ever.